Tuesday, August 10, 2010

FUN with cats and dogs and marmosets and green things and cannibalistic fish (yes, fish) (Jimi 6, the shark episode, part 1)

Jimi saw Jaws when it first came out. Since that early and defining moment of his young life he had always felt himself to be part shark. I guess that's why they called him "the Fix".

It was 1994 and Kurt Cobain had just left the world a bit more depressed. Jimi was listening to good music, reading a couple good books, and scoring decent X, but he felt that something was missing in his life. At first he though it was a woman.

It was 1995 and there was nothing new under the sun. Jimi was newly divorced and had a second child to show for it. Not that he knew his son at all. The boy would be 11, Jimi guessed. Maybe it was time he showed up and took the kid out whoring. Did estranged fathers still do that these days? (Sometimes Jimi the Fix lost track of what century he was living in and what dues he owed his liege.)

It was 1997 and Jimi was heading up the kitchen on a research station off Cape Agulhas. The scientists were studying Great Whites. Jimi was wondering why L.L. Cool J would be cast to play him in the movie. They were nothing alike.

[you know what happens here, shark attack, disaster, miracles, movie magic that defies science, and awesome science about awesome sharks that are awesome, Jimi makes soup]

... and Jimi kept that shark tooth with him until the day he died. He was buried with it, a suit of clothes, and a watch that belonged to the undertaker that had been carelessly misplaced.

STAY TUNED OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)$*@&@*(R#640985134578

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