Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Advice for the Miserable #1

Yes, you are miserable. But good news, everybody! You probably don't even realize it. Won’t realize it until you hit your late forties and buy a sports car, run off with the secretary, and catch the herp from that cabana boy that was just meant to be a “one time fling.” Won't realize it until your lying there on your death bed thinking of your funeral realizing that you found no value in anyone you ever knew and anything you ever did. Bummer.

Which means you have plenty of time to get another beer and wash away the sunlight. I'm sure there's something boring on television.

Hell, you might even think about quitting your job, leaving your loveless marriage, and finding something someone anything you care and are passionate about and sticking to that like your life or at least your pursuit of happiness depended on it. Might think about admitting that your a hypocrite. Might think that if the responsibilities chafe, there's no time like the present to leave them to someone who cares. No time like the WORST CRISIS SINCE THE HISTORY OF SLICED BREAD OR THE PRINTING PRESS OR WORDS to think about a major change in lifestyle. "Just going to buy a $25 pack of cigarettes to smoke out in the cold, honey."

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