Hey everybody, here is a copy of a letter I just got from my new favorite author, Isaac Aronson. He even called me his good friend, can you believe it? You should all go buy his book. It's awesome!
First of all, thanks for the book. I did not yet have a copy and I look forward to being able to read it. Yes, it is interesting that we have the same favorite author. Though I am somewhat concerned as to how you came by that information. Are you stalking me? Just kidding. If you were, I would tear you limb from limb and use your body parts for sexual gratification.
As you probably know from stalking me, I am coming to your town soon on my book tour. You should come in and buy a signed copy of my book. No, I can’t sign your current copy because I need to artificially enhance my sales figures. Please understand that I am doing this for you and all my other readers. If I don’t sell enough copies of this book I will never be able to swindle my publisher into a second and I know how much you want a second book. So how about coming by and buying a signed copy. That way you can a have a copy to put on display – the signed copy – and a copy to read – the one you already have. You should also consider buying more signed copies to give away as gifts. Nothing makes a great gift like a signed book. Even for toddlers and people who can’t read.
As to the questions in your post script: no, I am not married. Yes, I do have a girlfriend. No, you can’t meet her. And finally, yes, yes, no, 3, and green.
You good friend,
Ha! I love that. I am good friends with a selling author. You wish you could be as cool as me. I know it.